CaPiTaL oFfEnSe

Welcome to the Capital Offense section! The area where I put up all the hate mail (yes, amazing this site does receive some. Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?) that I have received. Well, it's not only hate mail that you'll find here, but really really dumb mail that I've received or friends of mine regarding their own websites. These are here for your viewing pleasure so that you may mock them and see what kinds of sick, sad freaks do exist in this world. The names of the offenders and silly silly people have been omitted so that they will not have the crap beaten the hell out of by good-natured, smart people like us. See? Aren't I a nice person? I'm shielding them from potential harm!

You know noyhing about DBZ So dont write any fanfichens if you dont know the
fax or ill sue. For example VEGETA does have a HEART

SO WRITE THE REAL FAX ABOUT VEGETA

Reply: Well, I do know how to spell, which is something that this guy apparently can't do, and I do know tons about Vegeta and DBZ seeing as how I own *cough* the entire series, Japanese lang, English sub. Whahooo!! I know just as much as any devoted follower, and anyone with a brain or at least a hint of psychoanalytic inclinations would come to the same conclusions that I do about the Vegetable Prince himself. Besides, I don't believe I ever did say that Vegeta didn't have a heart. I said he was cruel, which we all know to be true, but I never said that he was lacking in that specific organ, be it profound or physical. I DO belive he's got one! Otherwise I wouldn't have this site up! It's cause I think he's awesome and complex and he's got one of those cool bad-guy masks that hide his inner self. His inner self, of course, being that tiny flame of goodness, of warmth, that proof that indeed he does have a heart.

So, she also wants to sue me. Riiight. As if she owns any legal rights to Vegeta of DBZ at all. Sorry, girl, they all belong to dearest Akira Toriyama and Bird Studios, Toei Animation and all those little buggers. And if you're thinking you can actually sue just cause I offended you in some way, well then.... you need a little lesson in one of the fundamental rights of being an American : 1st Amendment, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, bub, and there ain't nothing you can do about it cause I'm not being racist, sexist, or hateful in any way. If anything, I think I should sue YOU for misrepresentation and sending threatening emails, all of which are ACTUAL CRIMES, believe it or not.

How's that sound? The tables ave turned, eh? BWAHAHAHA!!! THere's no way you can defeat me, fool!

Now, the funny thing is, is that I think the guy up there is the SAME guy that started bashing my friend Katie down here:

Friend Bein' Bashed #1: Katie McKay (you might remember her from certain fics in my fanfic section. :P )

VEGETA IS NOT EVIL ANY AFTER AFTER FREEZA DIES . VEGETA HAD KNOW CHOSE bY
THE WAY HE ACT BECAUSE HE WAS CAPTURED BY FREEZA AND TREATED THE WAY NO ONE
SHOULD BE TREATED AS AN CHILD OR ALDT. SO BEFORE YOU START JUGING HIM LOOK
AT THE FAX.

Why exactly does this person feel the need to abbreviate everything? And how exactly can one "jug" someone else? These FAXes this person keeps talking about sure seem hard to find. I have no idea what I should be lookin for with these kinds of instructions. Thoguh I am looking at the FACTS, and I'm beginning to believe that this person is somewhat disturbed. Perhaps some psychiatric help might be in order? I'm afraid we'll have to leave that decision up to this kid's mummy.

K, let's get something straight here. This is a FANFIC site, not a PORNO site. There are some fundamental differences between them, unfortunately they are differences that we will not be getting into at this moment. I admit, the word 'porno' is on my fanfic page but that does not mean that I actually own any. Besides, if I did, do you think I'd be willing to share them with you, you dirty, rat, bastard? You didn't ask very nicely. Did you know that there's a store in Soho called Yellow Rat Bastard? I love that store. Wish it was cheaper, but I still like their clothes. They kinda look like they were all beaten with a rusty pipe or something. Just my kinda style.

Hey, I went to your webite, thinking that you would actually not how shall i say this without making fun of u or pissing you off...? Well, anyway, I went to your fan art section to find a vegeta vs. Pikachu ic, i saw it an thought that vegeta would win, AND HE WOULD, had you not accepted this disgraceful picture http://members.nbci.com/_XMCM/lady_vegeta/FanArt/Vegeta&Pika02.html

IT ENRAGED ME! I AM 12, I HATE POKEMON AND VEGETA IS MY HERO! DO YOU GET WHAT I FELT?! SEEING A LOSER FGGOT LIKE PRIKACHU WINNING AGAINST THE GRET VEGETA?! I AM BEGINING TO think you like fuckemon more than DBZ.

At least this guy was nice enough to provide me a link to what he was talkin bout so I could easily paste it onto this page. :P Can you guys belive that he's acutally OFFENDED that I accepted a fanart that depicted Vegeta LOSING to PIKACHU?? Wow. He seems very upset by this. I'd pat him on the head and tell him to simmer down, except, I don't really like him too much.

Why do so many of these kinds of guys spell so badly? You'd think they'd put an effort into something that they're upset about. At least he spelled Vegeta's name right, otherwise he'd really need a slapping. If you wanna get a point accross you really need to do it right. 12 year olds should not be sending letters like this to people they don't know with so many dirty dirty words, like fuck (oo! I said it!) and fggot (i'm sure he means faggot, a word that I am morally opposed to, not that I'm gay I just think using it creates tension for people that really are). Darned smart ass spelled Pikachu wrong too. I think he's funny.

Like I'd ever mentioned that I like Pokemon. Truth be told, I truly DESPISE Pokemon, and there are no other things on this site to prove otherwise.

So what did I do? I emailed him saying that Pikachu is so darned freakey that I belived he could overwhelm the Prince just by breathing. The little rat is too weird to be defeated be even the strongest of DBZ characters. It's those eyes, man. THOSE FREAKY EYES!

WHADDYA MEAN "Not even the mighty Vegeta could beat him"?! I COULD BEAT THAT YELLOW BASTARD IN LESS THAN 5 MINITS!!!

Oh yea? Well I could beat him too! With an eraser! Or turpentine! Or whatever the hell you can use to destroy an animation cell. Course, I'm warning ya. There are like, a billion more just like him. After that, I decided not to waste my time on him.

Alright. This next guy first sent me a letter saying that grammar doesn't matter at all in a fic as long as it has a good story. I don't think I can emphasize enough how important it is to have your fic look presentable for public viewing. I mean really, would you enjoy reading a totally dramatic and plot twisting story if it was filled with tons of misspellings, wrong tenses, incomplete sentences and the like? NO! It looks awful! I for one wouldn't want to waste my time reading something that someone took no effort in packaging. This was basically what the email I sent back to this guy said. I also told him he had no life. He also told me I was an old, crabby lady or something of that sort. I'll have you know I'm a gorgeous 17 year old, bub, both inside and out which is more than I can say for you. This is what he wrote back to me :

hullo i'mm useeng badd grammmer agin. haha. i doo two hav uh lief. inn factt, i'mm goingg two a parrrtee inn uh fue daze. annd i'vve haad sevverle grl frends inn thu passed two yeers. soo ther. =P

Whatever. You're the one who started it, man. Huh. Just how old do you think I am? Seriously, who would wanna read anything that sounds like crap? There's a difference between good writing with style and a good story with none. As for a life? Well, I sure as hell have one. *looks ashamed* *Wish I had a few more....* *sniffle* You wanna know why it took so long for me to write back to you? Because I do have a life! I don't spend every waking hour on the internet, pickin at grammar (as you seem to think I do), or whatever useless whatnot there is. Aggravating kids... yea right, as if that could ever be considered a productive hobby. How old are you anyway?

Anyways, are you being sarcastic about the friends thing or what? ( He asked me if I wanted to be friends. I'll admit, this really threw me off. ) If you are, then... I have obscene answers to share with you. If you're not, then I'll be more than happy to leave this little disagreement alone and be nice to ya.

I thought that was a perfectly polite and fine reply. This is what he sent back. It was his final letter to me.

Listen lady... leave me alone you freak. yeh i did read it, and i don't care! What are you, a grammar teacher?!? well if you are you need to get a > >new job and after you do that... get a life, and stop aggrivating kids about proper junk cause we DONt CARE! Wanna be friends?

Right. How on earth did you find out about that? Well, since the cat's out of the bag, I might as well go on and tell you guys the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. The truth is, yes. I have been fucking Vegeta and I am indeed, a bitch. We've had about 17 and a half children, I say half because that 'half child' is still residing in my tummy and we live in a nice little apartment down in NYC with my parents. Every now and then I have my mom and uncle babysit for my 17 kids while I go to high school, and none of my friends have ever realized the extra girth in my tummy or seen the children or prince running about my little bedroom.

Geeze. I think you need somewhat of a life. Say, a real life. Not a cartoon one, no, just the one you've been dealt with.