1. Piccolo Pez Dispenser:  A long stick with Piccolo's head on top.
        (People were just grossed out by the way the pez came out--they looked like Namek
         eggs that it was barfing-up.)
 

    2. Piccolo Bug Light:  A figure of Piccolo meditating.  Hang it anywhere in your house and it'll get rid of those nasty bugs that keep on pestering you.  A bright blue light should emit from it once plugged in, drawing insects closer until they are shocked by a large electric blast.
           (Apparently, the strange blue light coming from it also attracted little children, and for some, when they stared at it as it shocked a butterfly or two, would get seizures.)
 

    3. Zarbon Headset and Hair Kit:  A full set of Zarbon's head thingie's, earrings, and special styles and  hair care book to style your hair just like Zarbon does!
        (The dangling thingies on the jewelry got into children's eyes, the directions for the hair-styling not only made your hair just like his braids, it also turns your hair green.  Basically, not that many people actually BOUGHT this product, but those strange people who did, got their heads shaved because their parents hated it and there was no way to get rid of it, and it was attracting funny genderless men.)
 

    4. Freezer Voice Morpher:  A small box-like object that, when placed on your throat, changes your voice to sound EXACTLY like him!/her!
        (People just thought it was weird, seeing their kids sounding like the freako genderless man in their favorite TV show.  Plus, imagine coming home from work on day, and seeing your little boy sound like an old hag.)
 

    5. Pin the Tail on the Saiyan:  A fun filled game for the whole family, and GREAT for birthday parties.  Comes with 4 different pics you can choose to pin the tail on: Radditz, Goku, Nappa, and Vegeta.
 

    WATCH OUT FOR THE "GOLD" EDITION OF THIS GAME--INCLUDES AN EXTRA SHEET, SO YOU CAN CHOOSE FROM 5 DIFFERENT SAIYANS, RADDITZ, GOKU, NAPPA, VEGETA, AND THE EXTRA, BARDOCK!!!

               (Kids turned out mostly trying to pin the tails on themselves, stating that they were an almighty Saya-jin.  Pinned tails on themselves and ran around the place biting people whenever there was a full moon.  Also, when pinned onto the children, they started to bleed.)
 

    6.  Artichoke Vegeta Doll

            This was a very popular toy among Vegeta Lovers and it came at a very resonable price.  The problem, however, arose when this doll was placed next to the Eat All You Can Goku Doll.  Vegeta would either explode, attempt to make Goku explode, eat all the food in the house, or eat itself.  This happened to frighten many young people out of their wits, leading many to be commited to insane asylums, not that much different from this one.  Manufacturers attempted to mend the problem by telling people not to put the two dolls together, but this failed as the doll would constantly go beserk and make banana milk shakes out of anything other than bananas.
 

 7. Bulma Barbie doll

   This doll would have enjoyed the same success the Barbie doll had , if not for the mysterious disappearance of every single Bulma doll on the planet and the sudden destruction of every Bulma doll manufacturing plant in the world.  Highly confidential security cameras show that the building was attacked by a short man with an artichoke-like head.  Beware, for he is highly dangerous as he can shoot big balls of destructive light from his palms by saying the words "big bang attack".
        If anyone has any information relating to this, please call us at:
                                                                                                        1-800-555-LET'S*MOSEY
                            (operator Cloud Strife will be standing by.)
 

    8. Tickle-Me-Chaozu:  A bedtime doll for little kids.  It was made to look exactly like him, and with a special feature.  If you tickle it, it will laugh and laugh! Tons of fun for the family!
 

     (You're asking ME why people didn't like this doll?  Okay, just ask yourself this.  Would YOU want a scary little mime doll staring at you wherever you go, can laugh without you even touching it, and posseses the power to read minds?  Would you?
 WOULD YOU?!?!?!)
 

    9. Shine Me Candles:  Candles that you use in special holders that enable it to project pictures of Dragon Ball/Z characters, as well as light to brighten your room!   Comes in all shapes, smells, and sizes, with all the different characters!!!

                (Often, people mistook these for those "romantic night" candles, and were kinda upset about them.  Many others were still freaked out by some of the projections at night, as many claimed to see them move, and went mentally insane.  Yet others were amazed
by this man-made "phenomenon," and for some unknown reason formed many cults, stating that in the year 2000, DBZ characters will come to life and save them from the dying planet, and will bring them either to New Namek, or an even newer Planet Vegeta.  Some hurt themselves when they saw the projection of characters that terrified them, and for some stupid reason, ran splat into the wall, window, door, or whatever it was that it was projected onto.)
 

    10. Krillen Caps:  A  cap with any chosen color arangements, which includes Krillen, the li'l baldy's name on it.

                (This was actually quite popular, as many people liked that lovable little chestnut.  BUT it was ALL RUINED BY those extremly obsessed Krillen lovers, who insisted that Krillen's name was spelled as Kulilin, Klilin, or Krillen, or whatever.  They trashed the factories in want of more 'faithful' spellings not realizing their own ignorance in the process.)
 
 

    11. Eat All You Can Goku

            This was another of the more popular dolls, but like the rest, it too had it's problems.  When you feed it the food that it comes with, it not only eats the plastic food, but it eats you HAND AS WELL as all of the real food in your house.  Complications arose as the doll ate families out of house and home, resulting in a nation wide famine as thousands of hungry Goku dolls devastated all the crops in the land.  It was told to us by researchers that if they didn't get their food in time, they would devour kids that look like Zarbon and Freeza.   The doll also attracted many super powered villains with evil, evil intentions.  The large rush of Goku dolls on the loose also had made the Vegeta doll nearly extinct.  They would seek out and destroy every Vegeta doll with the ruse that it only wanted to spar.  Only 3 are said to exist after the onslaught that ensued.  Even more problems arose when the Goku doll began taking X-rated pictures of the Bulma Barbie doll. Children and parents everywhere were horrified.   A hasty recall was issued by the manufacturer.

    12. Chi-Chi Can Cook Video or Book Set:

            This one didn't do that bad.  Actually, it did surprisingly well, by many people, not necessarily DBZ fans, but millions of people who couldn't cook flocked to stores to buy this; either in book or video form.  This was EXTREMELY helpful, in fact, too helpful to many unskilled cooks.  Expensive restaurants were going out of business, as people were all happy to cook their delicious home cooked food everyday.  They actually started to cook so much that families started to run out of money, spent all on ingredients.  Suddenly, people were too poor to buy more of these books/videos, let alone anything else, so this was taken off shelves too.  They recalled most of the books and videos in exchange for a small sum of money to help those poor cooked out people get back on their feet, and buy a stick of gum or two.  Many cases in which the wife had gone crazy, trying to cook a meal that would last the world a whole 12 years!  Some convinced husbands went off into the wilderness to catch a 12 ft. fish, or trap a 9 ft. boar, or something of that matter.  Pretty much only the producers of this product and hospitals had money flowing in like water.  So, just remember, if Chi-Chi can cook, you can't match her.

    13. Tapion's Flute:

            Made to look AND sound exactly like Tapion's flute in movie #13.  It comes with an easy to learn handbook on how to use it, and a copy of Tapion's song, the only song he could play.

            Many people bought this, wanting to play the soothing music that Tapion plays.  The easy to follow instructions were very easy, and people learned to use it in a sinch.  The annoying thing was that there was only one song in the world that they could play on that thing, and they just kept playing it, and playing it, over and over and over and over. . . .  Also, this was made too well.  There was a 67% chance that you could actually be either sucked into the flute if too close while someone's playing it, or you could summon giant scary skull monster butterfly thingies with it to trash the world and step on you *SQUISH!*  Total recall.

    14. Saiya-jin Scouter:

                Yes, that's right! Own your very own scouter!  Just attach it to your ear, push the simple to learn buttons, and check out everyone's power level! Wow! 5.5 power level for a human!? Amazing!  Track down someone with your handy dandy scouter!  Comes in colors of blue, green, and pink.

                Tsk tsk tsk.  They really don't build things like they used to.  These scouters seemed to have a tendency to shatter while still on your head, causing unsafe shards of glass to fly everywhere, but don't worry!  It was all mostly concentrated on your eye.

    15. Freiza Death Ball Nightlight:

                The Galaxy Tyrant's brightly glowing ball chases away frightening shadows and lets little kids sleep peacefully!

                First of all, what little kid can sleep peacefully with that creepy genderless goon staring at them all night? Besides, whenever it saw either the Goku or Vegeta dolls, it would drop its Death Ball and destroy the building it was in, causing many injuries.  They were recalled to avoid further lawsuits.

                                                                    (sent in by NansJns)

    16. Vegeta Spandex:

                Now you too can enjoy the awesome look of --SPANDEX--!!  Strut around just like Vegeta, and make spandex look good.  Who says spandex is a no-no?

                Um.  Us.  Well, actually, this spandex, er, was too tight.  So tight, that, once someone actually managed to get into these, they would suffocate, as it's tightness would crush their insides.  Yes, very dreadful. This needs rewriting.

These are great, and I have an idea for another one!  The Freiza Death Ball
Nightlight!  The Galaxy Tyrant's brightly glowing ball chases away
frightening shadows and lets little kids sleep peacefully!
 First of all, what little kid could sleep peacefully with that creepy
genderless goon staring at them all night?  Besides, whenever it saw either
the Goku or Vegeta dolls, it would drop its Death Ball and destroy the
building it was in, causing many injuries.  They were recalled to avoid
further lawsuits.
What do you think?

*~*NansJns*~*

   Well?  What did you think?

    Email me at LadyCrys@hotmail.com

    ©April 2000